Life seems to just be continuing on for our family, but as I look back at the past couple of months, quite a lot has happened! The week after we got the fabulous results from Evie’s scans, Evie completed another round of chemo. We then headed up to the Gold Coast for a little break, some time with family and to meet our newest niece, Sharlize.
It was a truly wonderful and refreshing time, just to get away and have a change of scenery. We enjoyed some spectacular weather while we were there, time at the park, a day at Dreamworld, a picnic on the beach and lots of time with the cousins and family, including cuddles with little Sharli.
We returned back home and headed straight into another round of chemo. That week was also dedicated to preparing for Alicia’s 6th birthday. Six!!!! How did that happen?! Alicia had a beautiful birthday, and celebrated with some of her friends from school. Evie was so excited for Alicia, and loved being part of the celebrations. Both girls were also excellent helpers with decorating the cake.
The following week it was time for Evie to commence back at Pre School. I felt such a mix of emotions as I walked away from the classroom that first day. I felt immensely proud of her, I felt nervous, I wondered how she would cope, and I missed my little buddy as I went home to an empty house! However, her first day went really well, and we were so grateful for the support and care from the staff. Camp Quality also came on the second day to do a puppet show for her class, dealing with a friend having cancer, and coming back to school. Unfortunately, Evie missed her second week back at Pre School, as she struggled with conjunctivitis, but she made it back this week and is settling in well.
On 14th June, our family and some of our friends headed down to the Domain to be part of the Run2Cure Neuroblastoma Day. It was a great feeling to have our little hero with us this year, and we managed to raise $10,000 as Evie’s Army. The kids had a fabulous time, on rides, having pony rides and walking the Little Heroes 1km walk hand-in-hand.
The most recent and exciting event that has happened in our world was last week with the arrival of my sister and her husband’s firstborn son, Arlo. My girls loved meeting their new little cousin, and having cuddles, as did I. Family is so important to us, and it is so beautiful to have new little people added to both sides of our beautiful families.
This week marks the end of round 6, and the last round before another scan. It is strange, but that 21 day cycle of chemo has become our normal, and life seems to have a bit of a rhythm and routine. Evie continues to cope well with the drugs, and her counts have been consistently stable, which has meant we have not needed to go in for blood counts in between rounds. I am quite astonished, but so grateful that we have not landed in hospital as an inpatient since her surgery. Although, Evie told me yesterday that it is fun to stay in hospital. When I asked her why, her reply was that they bring her coco pops and everything! At least she remembers the good things!
Overall, life is going pretty well, and we have certainly had exciting events to keep us occupied. However, I can’t seem to help feeling a little lost within myself. I feel a little like I am wandering around in No-Man’s-Land. It is strange, because although Evie is well, and her last scans were clear, she is still not finished treatment, and we are not sure how long it will continue for. We can’t quite move on, can’t really plan too far ahead. Life feels like it is on pause. We are not in and out of hospital like the first time round, but there is always the risk that we will end up in hospital, as she still has her central line in. And when you least expect it, all of a sudden you have a panic attack, or a little seed of doubt or fear creeps in. All it takes is for her to say she has a sore tummy, or seem a little tired. Small things that would normally be nothing can unfortunately cause such anxiety. All I can do is keep reminding myself that it’s ok. We are ok and we have much to be grateful for. That this is just a season. Every time I hug Evie or she tells me she loves me, I feel utter gratitude that she is ok, she is here with us and that she is doing well. Every time I feel like I haven’t achieved anything in the past two years, I remind myself that I am still standing. That’s an achievement! I have been able to be there for Evie, that I have been able to go to see Alicia get awards, or help out with reading groups. I am reminded that for this season in my life, I am right where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing. I am a Mummy first and foremost and that is my most important job.